My Frist Journey; Confronting Shame
My first journey began at seventeen when I felt the unmistakable touch of God. I believed I had been chosen for a purpose, yet I spent decades wrestling with shame, not because of anything I had done, but because of who I was. My sexual identity became the part of me I was taught to fear, deny, and bury. I lived torn between the God who called me and the church that condemned me.
Over years of struggle, prayer, and brutal honesty, I discovered a truth that changed everything. Shame survives only where fear is fed. God’s love has never required my conformity. Once I stopped running, healing finally found me.
This journey was not about surface guilt, it was a battle with the kind of shame that settles into the soul and tries to write your story for you. I had to face the wounds I hid, the beliefs that kept me small, and the lie that my identity made me unworthy. In the stillness where I stopped pretending, truth confronted the lie. God met me exactly where I was, not where I tried to appear. His love restored parts of me I believed were beyond repair.
What surprised me most was how long the journey truly was. Healing did not happen in a moment, but over years of learning to trust His voice. I had to relearn how to look in a mirror without judgment, how to pray without shame, and how to believe that my existence was not a mistake but a reflection of divine intention. Each step forward became an act of courage, a declaration that the old story of fear no longer had the right to define me.
What unfolded was a slow and steady unraveling of fear. A surrender. A willingness to let God’s voice be louder than my shame. That is where I learned to carry both brokenness and grace, to stand honest without being ashamed, and to live as a man shaped not by guilt, but by the quiet strength of being fully known and fully loved.
At seventeen, I felt the unmistakable touch of God—and with it, a divine calling that would chart the course of my life. But I never expected this path would lead me into a three-decade battle—not with sin or unbelief, but with shame. Shame not for what I did, but for who I was.
At the center was my sexual identity, the one thing I was to
At seventeen, I felt the unmistakable touch of God—and with it, a divine calling that would chart the course of my life. But I never expected this path would lead me into a three-decade battle—not with sin or unbelief, but with shame. Shame not for what I did, but for who I was.
At the center was my sexual identity, the one thing I was told made me unworthy of God’s love and unfit for His calling.
My Journey Through Shame is more than a memoir—it’s a soul-deep confession, a spiritual odyssey through the parts of ourselves most people try to bury. It’s the story of what happens when God’s unmistakable calling collides with religious rejection. Of what it means to be anointed yet alienated. Gifted, yet deeply afraid.
I was raised in a world—and a church—that taught me to be ashamed of who I was, even as I tried to love the God who had clearly chosen me.
Through childhood trauma, religious indoctrination, spiritual awakenings, and undeniable encounters with the Divine, I lived suspended in a relentless tug-of-war between the voice of God’s love and the voice of the church’s condemnation. And for years, I believed the latter. I wore their shame like grave clothes. I buried myself under their judgments.
But God never left me there.
Across decades of wrestling, weeping, and walking through fire, I discovered something radical: in every season, I wasn’t met with wrath, but with the fierce, unshakable love of a God who refused to let shame have the final word.
This book is for those who never fit the mold. For the judged and hated. For anyone who’s been told they were too flawed to be used by God. It’s for those carrying secret shame, aching not just for forgiveness but for freedom.
Because shame cannot survive where truth takes root.
And the truth is: You were never disqualified. You were never forsaken. You were never unworthy. Not for a single moment.
What they are saying...
